You might be a redneck if...

You might be a redneck if..., originally uploaded by knledford.

...your back yard is littered with old rust car and truck bumpers that you keep around just in case you need them!

Ya know, the south is packed full of worthless things, if you think about it. Items that hold no meaning or reason, items that are unsightly, items that bring down the value of your home and/or trailer. Knowing full well these items will never be used or wanted, we southerners keep it anyway. Scattering junk throughout our yard as if it's on display. Most of the time, we have so much of it, it's hard to appreciate the ugliness of each individual thing anymore, but we grow to appreciate the ugly as a whole. Passerbys eyeball you, your kids are either ashamed of you or wish to inherit it when you die, and all the neighbors either envy you or hate you.

Think if the tourist we'd have if we all filled our yards with truly good looking things. Things like fountains and ivy covered pathways, well managed creeks and ponds, runable cars and trucks, and tires hanging from ropes in trees. Think of how well known we'd be to the world, visitors from other countries would come to see, they'd seek our backroads and well hidden trails. They' return home and tell others who would them come to see our great southern America.

Wait a minute, maybe that's the point. Maybe in the back of our minds, hidden deep, deep down inside our tiny brains lies a red paint stroke of genius. What if our unsightly ways are just a means of keeping unexpected bodies astray. Otherwise wouldn't we be run over with unwanted folk. If the rest of the world, knowing full well what southerns know about the south, wouldn't they want to come here, live here, die here? We'd over flow with those who seek a simple, easy going way of life. Those who dream of living in a place where people are armed for hunting reason, where everyone knows the names and busy of everyone else, a place where hair runs free and knowone cares...

My friends we must keep this land of ours a secret, otherwise, we'll become the dinner party victims of French snails and blow fish.

I say to you, my brothers and sistas, let us to continue the age old traditions of " if you can not spell it or sound it out, let us not eat it"... I say to you..."display your junk loudly and proudly"... I say to you... let us all be selfish and free!